Toni Tutoro wrapped her arms around 8-Ball’s neck and held on to the big, beautiful bald man with everything she had. She pressed her cheek against his hard shoulder, attempting to steady herself as three years’ worth of emotions rushed through her all at once. But they came so fast, and from so many different directions, she could barely distinguish one before it collided with the next.

“Took ya long enough,” he laughed in her ear. “I thought you were just gonna stare at me. I almost told ya to take a damn picture.”

She squeezed him even tighter as cold tears welled in her eyes. She’d prayed for this moment over a thousand times, but now that she was here, she didn’t know what to say. How could she explain what it meant to hear a familiar voice so close, to feel the arms of a friend around her…to finally come back home?

She couldn’t. There just weren’t enough words.

When 8-Ball started to pull back, she released her death grip on him but caught his handsome face between her hands before he could slip away. “You have no idea how good it is to see you.”

He flashed a purely arrogant smile. “Of course I do.” He straightened to his full height, which was well over six feet, then pressed a large hand to the center of his muscular chest. “I see this every day.”

She smiled in spite of his massive ego. “You haven’t changed at all.”

He shook his head, his dark green eyes filled with humor. “No need to change perfection. Once it’s right, it’s right. But look at you,” he reached out and tugged the long sleeve of her black t-shirt. “You’re still so…short.”

“Wow.” She blinked hard and shook her head, her smile still firmly in place. “You haven’t seen me for how long, and the only thing you can do is tease me because you think I’m short?”

He broke into a huge grin. “Don’t worry, I like my women short.”

She returned his grin with one of her own. “You also like to leave a twenty on the dresser when you’re done with them.” She purposely made a display of flipping her hair over her shoulder. “You’re gonna have to start snacking a little farther up the food chain before you’re ready for something like this.”

His face sobered for a few seconds before only one corner of his mouth rose again. “Now there’s the little Latina spitfire I remember. I knew she was in there somewhere.”

Toni slowly lowered her gaze to the snow dusted sidewalk. He hadn’t meant for his comment to hurt, that much she knew, but knowing didn’t stop the dull ache from thrumming in place of her heartbeat. She dragged the toe of her boot through the glistening white flakes while she summoned the courage to ask the question now burning in her mind.

She inhaled a deep breath and raised her eyes to meet his. “I know it’s been a while, but have I really changed that much?”

He held her questioning gaze for a long moment, hesitation playing across his face. “Am I being honest?” When she nodded, he stared off at something behind her. “Yeah, Toni…you’ve changed that much.”

She closed her eyes. Deep down, she knew she’d changed. She knew the last night she’d spent in Chicago had forced her to become someone else, maybe even something else. But to hear 8-Ball say the words, to hear him essentially confirm what she feared most...

She bit the inside of her lips as the tears from earlier threatened to return. What hearing 8-Ball say those words did, was reaffirm her fear that the monster coiled deep in the pit of her stomach wasn’t just a part of her – it was her. She couldn’t blame what she’d done so long ago on a loss of control, couldn’t even blame it on a single lapse of judgment. She’d allowed the beast to take control that night, because she’d wanted nothing more than to rip Natasha Stryker’s blonde head off.

Unfortunately, once the nearly blinding flash of rage had faded, Stryker hadn’t numbered among the nine casualties.

Toni’s thoughts scattered in every direction when she felt 8-Ball’s heavy hand touch her shoulder. She opened her eyes and focused on his blurry face. “I’m sorry. I missed what you said.”

Concern crept into his eyes. “Where’d you go?”

“Same place I always go.” She cast a glance to the sparkling glass frontage of The Rivers building, but looked away when she caught sight of her own reflection for the second time since she’d arrived.

“Why here, 8-Ball?” She twisted so his hand fell from her shoulder then backed away from him. “Of all the places in Chicago for me to meet you and Brick, why the hell did he pick here?”

The muscles in his jaw flexed hard. “You said you wanted honesty, so I’ll give it to you.” He folded his arms over his chest. “He said he wanted to make you think long and hard about why you came back. Said he hoped if you had to stand right there, you’d think about the choices you made the last time you were here and how it all could’ve gone different.”

Toni couldn’t do anything but blink as a sharp pain burst to life in the center of her chest. She struggled for a breath as dozens of bloodstained images flashed in her mind. “How it could’ve gone different?” She squeezed her hands closed tight when the beast stirred in her stomach. “All I’ve thought about for the last three years is how that night could’ve gone different. How I could have stopped her…how I could’ve saved them. So don’t tell me I need to stand in front of this damn building to think about what I did. It’s all I think about. It’s all I dream about. Most days…it’s the only thing I have left!”

When 8-Ball stepped forward and attempted to wrap her up in his arms, she wrenched herself free then shoved him back against the glass. “No! You wanted me to stand here. You wanted me to relive it all. But guess what?” She couldn’t hold back her tears any longer, so she quit trying. “I don’t need to relive it…because what you don’t understand is that I’m still living it!” She gnashed her teeth together as scarlet flames erupted at the edges of her vision. “Every time I see a table, I see my mother’s heart lying in the middle of it. I see my brother and sister tied to the chairs. And no matter how hard I try…I still can’t save them. So I just stand there, watching it happen all over again, just like I did back then.”

“I’m sorry about what happened to your family, Toni. You know I am.” He craned his neck, seemingly transfixed by the dark clouds gathering above The Rivers building, then lowered his head and shot her a knowing glare. “I don’t blame you for going after Stryker. I’d a gone after the bitch, too. But the way you did it.” The muscles in his jaw flexed again as he shook his head. “What would’ve happened if you’d killed Stryker down on Rush Street, Toni? What would you have done next? Run off into the city looking for Oktober? Do you have any idea what would’ve happened if you’d found him? His Ancient ass would’ve chewed you up then spit you right the fuck out, that’s what would’ve happened! Then we’d have been burying you right along with your family.”

Toni stared straight into 8-Ball’s eyes as the beast dug its razor sharp claws into her stomach. “If I’d known him then, if I’d know anything about him,” she ground her teeth together, “I’d have gone after him first.”

“So is that why you came back? To finish what you started? You gonna go after Oktober? You gonna suicide yourself so you can finally be with your family?” He narrowed his eyes on her. “Or is that what you were trying to do the first time around but Stryker just couldn’t get the job done?”

“I didn’t come back for Oktober or Stryker! I just wanted to come home!” She pressed her fingertips against her mouth as a sob caught in her throat. “I’ve never even seen their graves, 8-Ball. I just wanna tell them that I’m sorry. I just wanna tell them that I loved them…that I still love them. That I wish I could’ve saved them. That I tried, but I couldn’t.”

She shook the tears from her eyes as 8-Ball slowly faded away, only to be replaced by unwanted memories that stretched and distorted in her mind. She saw herself staring at the television in her old apartment, saw her own face twist in horror as something red streaked across the screen then landed with a sick, wet thud in the center of a familiar table.

The table she used to eat at when she was little. The table her family used to sit at, in a house once filled with more unconditional love than she’d ever found anywhere else, or since the day she’d left.

She heard her brother and sister scream when the thing on the table moved. Listened to Ray and Isabel cry for help as blood sprayed all over them and everything else in the room. They’d never sounded so scared, never looked more terrified…until he stepped in front of the camera.

She’d never forget Oktober’s swirling black eyes. Never forget watching him sink his fangs into her mother’s heart. Never be able to forget what followed, or the sound of her sister moaning his name.

Toni snapped back to the present at the sound of 8-Ball’s voice. She stared blindly at the wavering figure standing in front of her. “I only went after Stryker because of the note,” she breathed. “He said to thank her for the address. I didn’t know him. I didn’t even know where to start looking for him. But I knew I could find her…I wanted to find her.” She blinked away her tears. “Maybe I did the wrong thing that night. Maybe I overreacted. But if it was your family she sold out, if it was your brother…would you have done any different?”

This time when 8-Ball rested his hands on her shoulders, she didn’t move. “It’s not that I don’t care about you or what you’ve been through, Toni. But Brick’s my Sire, and he’s risking a hell of a lot by letting you back in without Locke’s permission. Do you really blame him for trying to make sure you’ve thought this through? If you were him, would you do any different?”

Toni tried hard to push her own pain aside for a moment and put herself in Brick’s shoes. Did her best to imagine how difficult the situation must be for him, considering what she’d asked could very well get him and his Children banned from the city, or worse.

Would she do the same if the roles were reversed? Would she risk the only home she’d ever known to help a friend?

She’d like to think she would. She’d like to believe she’d do anything to help someone she cared about. But she also had to admit, she’d probably be just as determined to make that friend think about what they were asking, even if it meant taking them back to the very place everything went so horribly wrong.

“I don’t blame him.” She tipped her head back and looked up at 8-Ball. “I just wish I could go straight to Locke instead of getting you and Brick involved. If this whole plan blows up, I’d prefer it explode in my face…not yours. The last thing I want is someone else to get hurt because of me.”

“Hey, we made the choice to get involved.” He lowered his hands from her shoulders and rubbed her arms. “When you first called, we could’ve told you where to find Lord Locke, just like you asked. We also could’ve stood back and watched you waltz right up to his front door.” He flashed a devious grin. “God knows the look on his face would’ve been priceless.” 

“You know, you and Brick could wash your hands of me right now if you’d just tell me where he lives.” Though she didn’t truly feel it, she offered him her sweetest smile then sang the words, “It’s not too late to give Mr. Fancy Pants a panic attack.”

8-Ball burst out laughing. “Oh, it’s tempting, it’s damn tempting, but the man would kick my ass if he found out I told you where he lives. A little known fact about Mr. FP, or the Armani Avenger, as I like to call him, is that he can throw a beat down like you’ve never seen. And while I like a good fight, I like ones I know I can win even better.”

She arched a brow. “Armani Avenger?”

“Yeah, he likes that better than Mr. Fancy Pants. He thinks your term of endearment sounds more like a name for a male stripper. Needless to say, it doesn’t fit well with his image and all.”

She slapped her hands over her face, but peeked up at 8-Ball between her fingers. “He knows I call him that?”

“Of course he does.” He leaned in close and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “It’s not like you were ever shy about it.”

Toni let her arms fall and tried to keep her body from following. She waved as much frigid night air towards her face as possible when her world suddenly grew much smaller.

She’d driven for days to meet with Brick and 8-Ball, spent what little money she’d managed to save on gas, worried for two weeks about how much trouble her friends might get into because of her...and for what? So that Lord Christian Locke, Mr. Fancy Pants himself, could laugh in her face for even thinking he’d let her back into Chicago?

What the hell had she been thinking?

Maybe she hadn’t been thinking, maybe that was the problem.

She stiffened as fear seized and tightened every muscle in her chest. Locke would never let her come back home…and she’d been stupid to believe otherwise. She should’ve stayed on the outskirts of Albuquerque where no one knew her. She should’ve never called Brick in the first place, and more than anything, she should have never accepted his offer to talk to Locke on her behalf.

No, much like every other decision in her life, she’d made this one way too fast, without weighing all the potential consequences.

She whirled around, prepared to bolt straight for her Trans-Am when Brick’s black Chevy Avalanche slid to a stop on the street in front of her. He opened the door, slammed it closed, and was standing in front of her before she ever had a chance to move her feet.

“I know that look, Honey,” he drawled, his southern twang more pronounced than she remembered. “Don’t even think about it. Everything’s gonna be fine. Everybody’s gonna be fine. Don’t freak out on me now.”

She stared up into his grey eyes, wishing she possessed even a shred of the calm he seemed to be made of. “How do you know that, Brick? What if it’s not fine? What if he kills you? What if he kills 8-Ball? He can do that, you know. No one will stop him. I can’t let that happen. I have to leave. I should’ve never come. I should have stayed…” Her words became nothing more than muffled sounds when Brick reached out, palmed the back of her head with one hand, and then pushed her face into the soft white t-shirt covering his chest.

“What you need to do is take a deep breath.” His other arm locked tight around her shoulders as 8-Ball’s loud laughter rang in her ears. “Damn, I know us Thugs can mood swing better than anyone, but Lord girl, you’re going in fifteen different directions. And I can’t very well yell at you and your brainless bald friend over there if you’re already upset.” He stroked her hair. “I hate seeing you cry.”

Toni flattened her hands against Brick’s hard chest and pushed herself back just far enough to look up at his weathered face again. “Why would you yell at us? We haven’t done anything yet.”

A stern but genuine smile tugged at his mouth. “Because you’re standing out here on the sidewalk,” he said as he released her, then moved back and pointed at the building, “instead of inside the lobby like I asked.” Irritation crinkled the deep lines at the corners of his eyes. “The last thing I need is for someone to see you standing out here.”

She slowly turned her head to glare at 8-Ball. “Why didn’t you tell me we were supposed to be inside? Does it really look like I need extra help getting into trouble?”

He gave her a droll stare. “No, you don’t. But with the fit you threw over standing out here, I figured the last place you wanted to be was in there. So excuse the fuck outta me if my concern for your emotional well-being made me a little hesitant to suggest we go inside.”

“I can see some things never change,” Brick groaned as he rolled his eyes. He motioned towards the lobby again. “How about you two do me a favor and take the argument inside where God and everyone else in the world can’t see you.”

“Don’t worry, Brick,” a deep, gravelly voice called from behind them. “Even God’s not crazy enough to be out here right now.”

Toni turned around fully expecting to see a big guy, considering the gruff timbre of his voice, but big didn’t even begin to describe the man standing only a few feet away. She didn’t have to crane her neck to see his face, but she did have to tip her head back a bit.

And what a face that is. She pressed her lips together in response to the errant thought. The last thing she needed to be doing was ogling some hot guy who had…the most depressing set of blue eyes she’d ever seen.

She blinked hard then looked again. For a split second his deep set eyes appeared almost friendly, maybe even jovial, but then it was like some invisible curtain lifted, revealing so much sadness and pain she wondered how he could move with that much weight on his shoulders.

“Drake,” Brick yelled, sounding a little surprised. “Holy shit, you’re actually home. Did you finally get some time off?”

The man, who she assumed was Drake, tipped his head from side to side. “You could say that.” A smile spanned the hard line of his mouth as he leaned forward and extended a huge arm past her. “When was the last time you got a day off, Texan?”

“I don’t get days off,” Brick grumbled as he accepted Drake’s hand. “Keeping Chicago’s kids in line is a full-time job. And don’t even get me started on the damn Elders.”

Drake’s muscular chest rumbled with laughter. “I hear that.” He shook 8-Ball’s hand and exchanged a friendly greeting, then slowly shifted his sad blue eyes to her. He seemed to study her for a long moment before he finally offered his hand. “Hi. I’m Drake.”

She considered the interlocked, black crescent moons tattooed in the center of his palm before she trailed up the sleeve of his black leather trench coat and refocused on his face. His very attractive face, she noted, only enhanced by his strong cheekbones, straight nose, and a firm jaw line shadowed by dark stubble.

He didn’t have the dusky rancher allure of Brick, or the arrogant bad boy qualities that 8-Ball seemed to have far too many of, but his long black hair and hard features had a rugged appeal she couldn’t deny.

She reached out to take his hand but tensed when her fingertips grazed the rough pads of his. His skin wasn’t cold like hers. He felt warm…just like a human. She gripped his hand tight, extending her index finger to rest on the inside of his wrist while she shook it.

Sure enough, a rhythmic pulse drummed under the tip of her finger.

She frowned. “I’m Toni. It’s…nice to meet you.” Unfortunately, her greeting came out as more of a question.

“Don’t worry,” Drake chuckled. “I have fangs, too.”

When an unexpected pang of jealousy twisted in her gut, Toni jerked his arm forward, yanked his sleeve back, and then pressed her nose to his wrist. She breathed in deep and closed her eyes as the rich, metallic scent of his blood confirmed what he’d said.

The man was most definitely a vampire, and a powerful one at that.   

Powerful enough that fear quickly tainted her desire to taste the precious fluid coursing through his veins. But the sound of his steady heartbeat pounding in her ears, the delicious scent of his hot blood filling her nostrils…it was just too much.

Toni immediately released Drake’s arm when she felt her fangs break free. She covered her mouth with her hands and staggered back as she wrestled with the beast for control of her own thoughts.

It was a war she’d waged countless times over the last few years, but a battle she’d lost only once.

That specific thought, combined with the flash of a single bloody memory from the very day she’d lost that fight, were all she needed to force the animal down.

She lowered her hands. “I’m sorry,” she breathed. “I didn’t mean—”

“For fuck’s sakes!” Brick’s loud voice drowned out the low growls of the animal inside her. “What do you mean he got caught feeding in the middle of a club? Son of a bitch! I’ll be right there.”

She felt her fangs slide back into place just as Brick slammed his cell phone closed against his thigh. He jammed the phone into the pocket of his leather driving coat as he grumbled a string of curses she couldn’t quite make out. He must have gotten the call while she was busy fighting off the urge to chew on a complete stranger.

How did you apologize to someone for something like that?  

She chanced a glance up at Drake only to find that his once sad eyes were now filled with no small amount of amusement. As the faint sensation of heat tingled in her cheeks, she turned and focused her full attention back on her friends.

Brick shook his head as he glared at 8-Ball, his sharp grey eyes glowing with anger. “That was Kane. We’ve got a Veil breach down on Rush Street. I’m gonna meet him and your brother down there.” He started back peddling towards his truck. “I need you to get Toni to the safe house and stay with her until I can talk Locke into letting her back in. Don’t make any stops. Go straight there and stay there.”

8-Ball eyes flicked between her and Brick, indecision marking his face. “Shouldn’t I go with you? It’s Friday night.” He took a step in Brick’s direction. “Rush Street’s packed with humans right now. You’re gonna need more help.”

Toni blew out a sigh. While she appreciated their concern, if there was one truth her past actions had proven, the last thing she needed was a bodyguard. “Just go guys, I’ll be fine. It’s not like I’m defenseless.”

“No!” Brick boomed. “This has shit to do with you being defenseless. You know damn well you’re fair game right now, and our kind is nothing if not opportunistic. If someone sees you and tells Locke before I get a chance to talk to him…you don’t even wanna know what’ll happen.”

“Go with your Sire, Baller,” Drake interjected. “I’ll keep Toni with me until you call. I’ll even play nice.” He pressed a hand to his chest, just above his heart. “I promise.”

Both 8-Ball’s and Brick’s eyes went as wide as the Chicago skyline. “What?” they asked in unison.

Drake pointed at 8-Ball with one hand. “It’s fairly obvious you wanna go with your Sire.” He motioned to Brick with the other. “And it’s pretty clear you’re torn between making sure she’s safe and needing all the help you can get. So go do whatever you need to do. I’ll stay with her until I hear different.”

Brick’s eyes narrowed on Drake. “Are you sure?”

He nodded. “Yes, I’m sure. I don’t have anything else to do right now anyway, except finish my walk and maybe grab a bite to eat.” Something strange seemed to pass between the two men before Drake raised both hands then waved him and 8-Ball away. “Just go. Trust me, I got this.”

With no further argument, Brick and 8-Ball made a break for the truck. The engine had barely roared to life before the squeal of tires against icy pavement filled the air. Within a few seconds, the men she’d driven hundreds of miles to see…were halfway down the block.

Didn’t need the protection, but could’ve used the company. Toni silenced the voice in her mind as she looked up at Drake. “You didn’t have to do that. I would’ve been fine.”

“Yeah, I did.” He inclined his head to where Brick and 8-Ball had been. “If I didn’t, they’d still be standing right there fighting with each other.”

She puffed a strand of hair out of her eyes. “You’re probably right.” She shifted between her feet when he smiled at her and the tingles from before fluttered in her cheeks again. “I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to grab…it’s just that sometimes it’s hard to…oh, never mind. I’m just, I’m really sorry.”

“Hard to control your beast?” The curtain over his eyes lifted as she nodded, but this time a sliver of understanding split the sadness and pain. “I know exactly how you feel.” He blinked hard, as if his mind had wandered off somewhere, but then smiled again. “So is that why you got kicked out? Did you bite someone you shouldn’t have?”

She tilted her head. “How did you know I got kicked out?”

He raised an arm to rub the back of his neck, his biceps straining the leather sleeve of his long coat. “Well, since Brick mentioned he needs to talk Lord Locke into letting you back in, I assume you’ve already been here once. And the only reason you’d need Locke’s permission to come back is if he’s the one who kicked you out in the first place. So what’d ya do?” His smile stretched into a rather lopsided and equally as adorable grin. “Did you set his tailor on fire?”

Toni tried to mirror Drake’s smile, but the grin she’d tried so hard to match faded as she caught sight of the white sedan creeping up the street towards them. With its lights off, the car almost disappeared against the street, helped even more by the snow covered pavement reflecting off the tinted windows.

“You were right the first time,” she absently mumbled as she watched the white Mercedes roll to a stop on the curb behind Drake. “Are you expecting some…” Panic stole the remainder of her words as the rear passenger door swung open.

Sign one that her night had just taken a turn for the worse, was the golden blond hair pulled into a severe ponytail at the base of his neck. Sign two, was the way his cold blue eyes locked on her as he stepped up onto the curb. But sign three, and the one that really drove the last nail into her proverbial coffin…was the pristine Armani suit that expertly hugged nearly every inch of his regal body.